Crazier Down in Texas

Posted in: Featured, Politics and People | By: | March 07, 2013

There was a joke making the rounds in the Texas capitol when George W. Bush left for Washington that he had affixed a bumper sticker to his car for everyone to read as he drove north. “If you think I was bad,” it supposedly said, “wait till you meet the guy who replaces me.” Turns out to be not that much of joke. Rick Perry has made Bush look almost logical and moderate. Not even W could stare $100 billion in free health care money from the federal government and say no.

But we have another gubernatorial loon in the pipeline that might give Perry a chance to repeat the Bush bumper sticker apocrypha. Greg Abbott, who is presently the attorney general of Texas and is reputed to have about $15 million in campaign funds in his account, is beginning to make Perry look like a PhD. instead of an aggie with a below average grade point. Abbott’s hoping Perry won’t run again for governor and the door will open for a new GOP candidate. Unfortunately for Abbott, Perry wants to run for president again and if he’s not governor he won’t be in a position to strong-arm donors. The only way Perry gets cash again is from people who think they have to do business with him in Texas, so he’s running.

But just in case, Abbott is trying to get to the right of Perry, or at least let the loons on our Texas landscape know that he’s the ideological equivalent of our current governor. Abbott put a graphic photo on his Facebook page that shows a handgun and a Bible with the line, “Two things every American ought to know how to use, neither of which are taught in schools.” Let’s get to his bad grammar first. “Neither” is singular, not plural, so it should be “neither of which is” not “are taught.” If you weren’t paying attention during grammar lessons, what in the hell makes you an expert on what is and isn’t taught in schools?

abbot ad

The funny, and sad thing is that the Bible actually is taught in Texas public schools, and Abbott damned sure ought to know that. It is an elective class and he was one of those leading the legal charge 5 years ago to put religion into publicly funded institutions. He should have that basic knowledge of his own state. Of course, schools are hardly teaching the Bible in an academic manner or using a non-devotional approach. A report prepared by the Texas Freedom Network indicates Texas children are often being taught the earth is 6000 years old and the origins of racial diversity can be traced back to the curse put upon Noah’s son.

The courses almost always end up being a kind of taxpayer funded Christian evangelism that in one school concludes by asking the students if they “want to invite Christ into their lives as their personal savior?” Anyone wanting to take a course in the history of the Koran or Buddhism or atheism will have to go to one of those commie public schools north of the Mason-Dixon. None of this should be shocking, though, in a state where the new head of the Texas State Board of Education announced she would urge a “softheaded approach” to teaching evolution and will see to it that textbooks include opposing arguments to evolution. Even though science isn’t argued. It’s proved.

But man do we have that softheaded thing going on in Texas.

Greg Abbott is, in fact, our most shining example. Plus, he’s built an entire political career on rank hypocrisy. In 1984, he was out jogging when a tree fell on him and left him a paraplegic. Abbott, now wheelchair bound, sued the homeowner and the tree trimming company, and won what has been estimated at about $10 million. He reportedly gets annual payments of more than $300,000 a year for the rest of his life. Abbott then got busy as a Supreme Court justice under George W. to promote tort reform. He had his money but he didn’t want others to be able to sue and get similar satisfaction. In fact, if the accident happened to Abbott today in Texas, he would not be able to get more than $250,000 in one time damages because of the tort reform laws that he helped pass, and his lawyers would spend that much just getting the case to court.

But a gun and a Bible will become the icon of Abbott’s campaign when he eventually runs for governor. Never mind that the Bible’s story is about a man who worked to change the world without weapons. Nor that our country has a long history and fundamental belief in keeping a single group’s religion out of public institutions. We’ve got a future candidate who is not only unafraid of hypocrisy, he uses it to build his ideological platform.

Greggy get yer gun!

4 Comments for this entry

  • Larry

    Abbott’s going out on a limb on this one.

    Yeah, I know that’s in bad taste, but what his posturing toward violence and pandering to the even craziers is in much worse taste. His bad taste will get people killed and increase ignorance and violence in society, not to mention add to impoverishment and suffering.

  • Mad Hemingway

    I have always had a great appreciation for The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

  • Steve Dailey

    Suggestion: Since Wendy Davis’s campaign slogan and bumper stickers state ‘STAND WITH WENDY’, Abbot’s campaign slogan and bumper stickers should state ‘ROLL WITH GREG’. Just a thought.

  • Jim

    Pretty danged funny.

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